Dear Uday,
I feel so stupid! I did some research and discovered you're in charge of one of your father's armies, why would you even want a fleet of cool cars? But what's up with that? What do you want an army for? If I were you I rather be a playboy living it up on the French Riviera or in Italy. I mean as it stands it looks like your dad's going to get deposed and you're going with him. You know the old saying he who lives by the sword dies by the sword? Well, it seems pretty true. Wouldn't you rather be a lover than a fighter? I don't know, maybe we just don't see things the same way. When I was a kid I accidently ripped the leg off a grass hopper and was upset for a whole week, in fact, it still kind of bothers me. You probably ripped the legs off tons of grasshoppers and didn't even give it a second thought. Did it ever occur to you grasshoppers have mothers too? If you could grasp that fact, I think it would go along way towards the cessation of the current hostilities.
Let me know,
Michael

 
Dear Uday,
Let's be perfectly honest I don't even know if I'm spelling your name right, but I've heard about you quite a bit on the news lately and I thought I might write you. I hear you are Saddam Hussein's son _ you may even be the crazy one I seem to remember hearing about _ but I thought I might write you and see if together we can help undo this current mess your father and George W. Bush have gotten us all into. The way I see it, it's probably pretty cool to be the son of dictator, I mean, assuming you get along with your pops, you probably get to do anything you want. So what do you do? Do you have any cool hobbies? Do you have a cool ride? A whole fleet of cars? A motorcycle? Do you like to travel? What's Baghdad like? I mean when it's not being bombed. Is it a cool place to hang? How about those Bush girls? George W.'s daughters, you know the ones who are always getting caught for underage drinking. What do you think? Any chance you might want to get together with them?

Let me know,
Michael